We had a good Christmas. The two boys came over early in the morning, around 8am and stayed till 7pm. We did all our usual Christmas things including a tree with TONS of presents (Yay for the thrift store, getting me many cheap filler presents, mostly books and barbies)
The ex told them he wouldn't celebrate Christmas with them 'because he doesn't have have any money.' Baby Bear's response 'That is just silly! He could just give us a $1 item!' Amen ^^ Ysa's response 'He could just get rid of all his World of Warcraft accounts and would have way more money.'
Not to mention that celebrating Christmas is not only about presents and money, it is about spending time together as a family and doing enjoyable things. I can come up with many many things we could do without spending any or just a little money, but I guess the ex is not there yet and will very likely never be there. Last year he promised Christmas but never did it, I guess at least he is not giving expectations this year and then not following through, so that is progress, right?
No Christmas decorations either, but then he doesn't have a couch or bed, so it would be unrealistic to think about Christmas if he can't even furnish an apartment or unpack his boxes.
The good thing is that I had a wonderful Christmas with all the kids and everyone was happy with their presents and we ate tons of not particularly healthy but very satisfying food.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Bryan School Meeting
I know it sounds silly, but in a way I am happy that Bryan now has an 'official learning disability.' Even if 'disability in written language' is what it says and his picture is sooooo much bigger and more complicated. Having an IEP will enable him to get the help he needs, even if it's not related to written language.
Again a pretty high iq (not surprising given siblings iq's) but can't write or spell and that's why he is eligible for an IEP. The principal of the school correctly identified that every single person around the table was talking about social / emotional / anxiety issues and that that seemed to be a bigger issue, but no one (psychologist in particular) was willing to commit to a 'social emotional disturbance'.
He is withdrawn at school, so they don't see all the behaviors I see at home I guess. The father filled out only part of the questionaires, since 'he didn't know the answers to all these questions.'
Anyway, it took us from September till December to officially qualify him and his case manager will start working on his IEP in January. Three kids on IEPs and counting.
One thing writing-wise is that he seems to like cursive and it is easier for him than printing. He also is pretty able with a keyboard, so there can be modifications in his work by replacing some of his writing with keyboarding.
Again a pretty high iq (not surprising given siblings iq's) but can't write or spell and that's why he is eligible for an IEP. The principal of the school correctly identified that every single person around the table was talking about social / emotional / anxiety issues and that that seemed to be a bigger issue, but no one (psychologist in particular) was willing to commit to a 'social emotional disturbance'.
He is withdrawn at school, so they don't see all the behaviors I see at home I guess. The father filled out only part of the questionaires, since 'he didn't know the answers to all these questions.'
Anyway, it took us from September till December to officially qualify him and his case manager will start working on his IEP in January. Three kids on IEPs and counting.
One thing writing-wise is that he seems to like cursive and it is easier for him than printing. He also is pretty able with a keyboard, so there can be modifications in his work by replacing some of his writing with keyboarding.
Monday, December 21, 2009
The Good, The Bad and the Ugly
So many posts in my head, so little time. Quick update before running off to get Baby Bear to school and pup walked.
The good: Today Bryan will have therapy again, tomorrow Penny will have therapy again after about 6 months of no therapy at all (Insurance claims: 26 sessions of therapy should solve anyone's problems, very generous we are). Bryan will see his old therapist, Penny will see a new one since her old therapist has left the practice. This new one comes highly recommended by Violet's case manager, looking forward to getting to know her.
The bad: On Saturday Bryan had suicidal statements. On Sunday Ysa stated 'I just will kill myself.' Both were not extremely likely threats, but still means I increase my vigilance and make sure Emergency Services phone number is very accessible.
The ugly: Over the last few weeks, Ysa has started hitting and kicking me, although it hasn't happened in the last week (I suspect her therapist has talked to her about it). She still destroys property though. Yesterday morning we got a new hole in hallway wall (sheetrock). It is very discouraging to try to get a house ready for sale while she keeps destroying things. I haven't found anything that works for her yet. She keeps slamming doors, kicking doors, kicking walls, behaving passive agressively and downright aggressively to her siblings, using swears and curses, refusing to do anything around the house.
The good: Today Bryan will have therapy again, tomorrow Penny will have therapy again after about 6 months of no therapy at all (Insurance claims: 26 sessions of therapy should solve anyone's problems, very generous we are). Bryan will see his old therapist, Penny will see a new one since her old therapist has left the practice. This new one comes highly recommended by Violet's case manager, looking forward to getting to know her.
The bad: On Saturday Bryan had suicidal statements. On Sunday Ysa stated 'I just will kill myself.' Both were not extremely likely threats, but still means I increase my vigilance and make sure Emergency Services phone number is very accessible.
The ugly: Over the last few weeks, Ysa has started hitting and kicking me, although it hasn't happened in the last week (I suspect her therapist has talked to her about it). She still destroys property though. Yesterday morning we got a new hole in hallway wall (sheetrock). It is very discouraging to try to get a house ready for sale while she keeps destroying things. I haven't found anything that works for her yet. She keeps slamming doors, kicking doors, kicking walls, behaving passive agressively and downright aggressively to her siblings, using swears and curses, refusing to do anything around the house.
Friday, December 18, 2009
A Good Thing about That Meeting
One of the good things about that big meeting last Wednesday is that Bryan's case manager was there and got a MUCH better insight in the size of the problem. Bryan's school has had a lot of 'It was the divorce. It was the homeschooling. He is just shy. He makes eye contact so he can't have Aspergers.' Sitting in the meeting and hearing all the HUGE issues the kids have and how Dr Plato talked about them hopefully made her WAY more away of the size of the problem.
For now Bryan is not doing badly in school (apart from spelling / writing) but he has huge anxiety and his clumsiness regularly lands him in the nurses office. We have another meeting about him on Monday, and I really hope that the input of dr Plato will change the dynamics of the meeting from 'This overprotective mom wants to see problems which are not there.' to 'How can we give Bryan support to overcome his genetic dispositions and all the trauma he has experienced.'
For now Bryan is not doing badly in school (apart from spelling / writing) but he has huge anxiety and his clumsiness regularly lands him in the nurses office. We have another meeting about him on Monday, and I really hope that the input of dr Plato will change the dynamics of the meeting from 'This overprotective mom wants to see problems which are not there.' to 'How can we give Bryan support to overcome his genetic dispositions and all the trauma he has experienced.'
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Zac
Last week, Dr Plato met with Zac. The good news is that he did not at all play the mom card anymore. The bad news is that since he can't blame anyone, he now feels he is going nowhere, and it is all him, it is all his responsibility, it is all his guilt. There is so much anxiety about not being good enough. Which dr Plato feels is present in all my kids. Even Baby Bear, who is worried about failing kindergarten en failing swimming lessons.
Back to Zac, dr Plato feels he is a fact collector. A fact collector who thinks he is MUCH smarter than anyone around him. Dr Plato has pointed out to him that he is in fact not more able or has more information than anyone with a library card and an internet connection.
Zac cannot handle whole brain learning and perspective taking, or inferential thinking. All the logic in the world does not get past the stimuli in his brain stem area (anxieties and such)
He does not have any internal reinforcement, only external ones. When dr Plato asked him what he wanted in life, his answer was 'money, more money, most money.'
Zac is addicted to videogames, very much so. He uses it to handle his stress and then he gets more stressed because in a way he realizes he is hurting himself. And needs more video games. Classical addiction pattern. If he is not playing videogames, he is thinking about video games. I know this is not a huge surprise, given the fact that his father is just as addicted, but it still adds to my guilt / frustration of having Zac move in with his father. Yes, even if I know that is silly and there are many good things about that move, I still have to acknowledge to myself that I feel guilty about things I cannot control.
Zac's therapist told the group that she is really struggling with Zac, she cannot at all reach him. He cannot handle anything that he would need to help him move on in life.
Dr Plato considers Zac to be stuck at a 5yo level. But we expect goals and behaviors of him which are not consistent with a 5yo level. It is not easy to accept that my 16yo is stuck at 5yo, sadly enough, but it does fit his behaviors and maturity. Although in a way I have done a lot of this accepting over time, it still is an ongoing process for me.
Zac does know a lot , but there is a HUGE difference between knowing and performing what you know. This is where his lack of executive skills comes in and his anxiety of 'I am not good enough.' He does not appreciate what he has done, and only focuses on what he is not doing.
The main theme of the meeting seemed to be 'We cannot fix Zac, but we can attempt to keep the others from becoming Zac. There is a time bomb ticking in all of them.'
Easy to listen to this in a very egotistic way and say 'I screwed them up! It is all my fault!' but of course that is not what they were saying. Not to mention that Vincent is relatively unharmed and more social adept, even if he has videogame addiction issues too. Somehow Vincent was only mentioned in passing at the beginning of the meeting, and after that everything was focused on problems, problems, problems, problems. It was very intense.
Back to Zac, dr Plato feels he is a fact collector. A fact collector who thinks he is MUCH smarter than anyone around him. Dr Plato has pointed out to him that he is in fact not more able or has more information than anyone with a library card and an internet connection.
Zac cannot handle whole brain learning and perspective taking, or inferential thinking. All the logic in the world does not get past the stimuli in his brain stem area (anxieties and such)
He does not have any internal reinforcement, only external ones. When dr Plato asked him what he wanted in life, his answer was 'money, more money, most money.'
Zac is addicted to videogames, very much so. He uses it to handle his stress and then he gets more stressed because in a way he realizes he is hurting himself. And needs more video games. Classical addiction pattern. If he is not playing videogames, he is thinking about video games. I know this is not a huge surprise, given the fact that his father is just as addicted, but it still adds to my guilt / frustration of having Zac move in with his father. Yes, even if I know that is silly and there are many good things about that move, I still have to acknowledge to myself that I feel guilty about things I cannot control.
Zac's therapist told the group that she is really struggling with Zac, she cannot at all reach him. He cannot handle anything that he would need to help him move on in life.
Dr Plato considers Zac to be stuck at a 5yo level. But we expect goals and behaviors of him which are not consistent with a 5yo level. It is not easy to accept that my 16yo is stuck at 5yo, sadly enough, but it does fit his behaviors and maturity. Although in a way I have done a lot of this accepting over time, it still is an ongoing process for me.
Zac does know a lot , but there is a HUGE difference between knowing and performing what you know. This is where his lack of executive skills comes in and his anxiety of 'I am not good enough.' He does not appreciate what he has done, and only focuses on what he is not doing.
The main theme of the meeting seemed to be 'We cannot fix Zac, but we can attempt to keep the others from becoming Zac. There is a time bomb ticking in all of them.'
Easy to listen to this in a very egotistic way and say 'I screwed them up! It is all my fault!' but of course that is not what they were saying. Not to mention that Vincent is relatively unharmed and more social adept, even if he has videogame addiction issues too. Somehow Vincent was only mentioned in passing at the beginning of the meeting, and after that everything was focused on problems, problems, problems, problems. It was very intense.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
PTSD or More Alphabet Soup
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
It came up more often than I would like to admit in today's meeting. It came up in Baby Bear's therapy last week. Bryan's therapist talked about it as a given for Bryan. Penny's therapist has talked about it in the past.
I know it is just a label, but it also makes me feel like a 'failure' for not having protected my kids better. Which is totally nonsense. But the feeling is there and I want to acknowledge it before I can let go of it.
Of course I did partly protect them by getting out of the abusive marriage.
But how can one protect them from their own siblings in their own house????
Such a joy to add more letters to all the diagnoses, even if I know that the kids aren't defined by their labels, and it's appropriate to look at them from a developmental perspective instead of from a label perspective, it still SUCKS to see these labels associated with my children.
It came up more often than I would like to admit in today's meeting. It came up in Baby Bear's therapy last week. Bryan's therapist talked about it as a given for Bryan. Penny's therapist has talked about it in the past.
I know it is just a label, but it also makes me feel like a 'failure' for not having protected my kids better. Which is totally nonsense. But the feeling is there and I want to acknowledge it before I can let go of it.
Of course I did partly protect them by getting out of the abusive marriage.
But how can one protect them from their own siblings in their own house????
Such a joy to add more letters to all the diagnoses, even if I know that the kids aren't defined by their labels, and it's appropriate to look at them from a developmental perspective instead of from a label perspective, it still SUCKS to see these labels associated with my children.
Parents' Pride
Today we had a big meeting, with all the kids' therapists, and some of the school people and dr Plato. It was very useful, interesting, and gave me more ideas for concrete things to do. I will write about it soon, I promise but for now just sharing Dr Plato's 'I am constantly amazed by the complexity and severity of some of your kids symptoms.' Ha! That is really how one wants to stand out and be known 'The woman with all the Really Weird, no seriously, Very Screwed Up kids'
I am glad I have a sense of humor about it all ^^
I am glad I have a sense of humor about it all ^^
Monday, December 14, 2009
Enjoying the Differences
Monday morning chatty post before I jump into current challenges.
Last week I was out with the four youngest and almost ready to leave the cafetaria where we had been hanging out for a while. Just before we left, one of the kids' art teachers from our local art gallery came in. My kids were happy to see him, and he was happy to see us.
Of course, this means that suddenly we were not going to leave yet, because we had to talk for a bit and then he wanted to show us his stunning pictures from his trip out West. Followed by pictures of the girls' art class. One thing led to another, and it was at least an hour later before we finally left.
What was interesting to me was to observe the TOTALLY different way Penny and Violet spent most of that hour. Penny glued herself to the art teacher, talking about a variety of issues and subjects, carrying on a long and involved and interesting conversation. Violet borrowed the teacher's camera and spent all the time arranging her 'sculpture' she had made out of jackets and other items and making pictures, which had to be just right, she made maybe 5 pictures in half an hour, spending the rest of the time arranging her subject and finding the right angle to take the picture from.
It was like the poster children for 'See the difference between Aspie and more neurotypical sibling'. Not like I don't see it all the time, but this particular instant it struck me more than usual for some reason, because it was so 'perfect'.
Meanwhile Bryan started breaking down, so while I was observing, I dealt with dramatic breakdown since he had had it. Wasn't easy to get either Penny or Violet to give up on their activities though. Violet had to make one more perfect picture, and Penny had to tell the teacher just a bit more about whatever.
Last week I was out with the four youngest and almost ready to leave the cafetaria where we had been hanging out for a while. Just before we left, one of the kids' art teachers from our local art gallery came in. My kids were happy to see him, and he was happy to see us.
Of course, this means that suddenly we were not going to leave yet, because we had to talk for a bit and then he wanted to show us his stunning pictures from his trip out West. Followed by pictures of the girls' art class. One thing led to another, and it was at least an hour later before we finally left.
What was interesting to me was to observe the TOTALLY different way Penny and Violet spent most of that hour. Penny glued herself to the art teacher, talking about a variety of issues and subjects, carrying on a long and involved and interesting conversation. Violet borrowed the teacher's camera and spent all the time arranging her 'sculpture' she had made out of jackets and other items and making pictures, which had to be just right, she made maybe 5 pictures in half an hour, spending the rest of the time arranging her subject and finding the right angle to take the picture from.
It was like the poster children for 'See the difference between Aspie and more neurotypical sibling'. Not like I don't see it all the time, but this particular instant it struck me more than usual for some reason, because it was so 'perfect'.
Meanwhile Bryan started breaking down, so while I was observing, I dealt with dramatic breakdown since he had had it. Wasn't easy to get either Penny or Violet to give up on their activities though. Violet had to make one more perfect picture, and Penny had to tell the teacher just a bit more about whatever.
Monday, December 7, 2009
And Yet Another Zac Truancy Day
Today Zac isn't in school yet again.
X sounded depressed when I called him at work.
X explained 'I couldn't get him out of bed, he said he was scared.'
Me 'Hmmm, that is too bad.'
X barked at me 'YES IT IS!'
He added 'Things are pretty hopeless.'
I think the reality of Zac's issues is sinking in and he doesn't like it. My sister said 'He doesn't even know how to be a NORMAL parent, let alone how to deal with the very special type of parenting that Zac requires.' Yeah, that is a good description.
I was tempted to say 'See that this placement is NOT working for Zac???' but I kept my mouth shut because I know from experience that X is not ready to listen and might never be ready to listen. If Zac goes to school again tomorrow, the X's universe will be 'Zac is doing so well!' without seeing the bigger picture. Not a huge surprise, but it still is hard to watch it happening.
X sounded depressed when I called him at work.
X explained 'I couldn't get him out of bed, he said he was scared.'
Me 'Hmmm, that is too bad.'
X barked at me 'YES IT IS!'
He added 'Things are pretty hopeless.'
I think the reality of Zac's issues is sinking in and he doesn't like it. My sister said 'He doesn't even know how to be a NORMAL parent, let alone how to deal with the very special type of parenting that Zac requires.' Yeah, that is a good description.
I was tempted to say 'See that this placement is NOT working for Zac???' but I kept my mouth shut because I know from experience that X is not ready to listen and might never be ready to listen. If Zac goes to school again tomorrow, the X's universe will be 'Zac is doing so well!' without seeing the bigger picture. Not a huge surprise, but it still is hard to watch it happening.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Ysa Therapy
Today, Ysa had her first therapy session.
Last night 'I am NOT going! I HATE my therapist! I'll just move to papa! He won't make me go to therapy! And you can't get me back anyway because you couldn't get Vincent or Zac back either. I will just tell her I am anorexic, so I have something to talk about! I will tall her I want to kill Penny so I will have something to talk about! I am not going to say ANYTHING! I will run away from school so I don't have to go!'
A few minutes later she hit Penny when Penny ran past her. 'Oh, I was just brushing my hair out of my face and Penny ran into my arm...' Um... I saw her hit very deliberately AND Penny cried from how hard she hit.
Today, she did go though. Although her input when I was still there was mostly 'hrm' and shoulder shrugging till I brought up the Penny incident. 'It was all Penny's fault, I was just standing there.'
No idea how much she talked when I was out of the room. She agreed with therapist to go next week. I hope it will help her to have someone to pat her on the back and help her find strategies to deal with her stupidhead mom.
Last night 'I am NOT going! I HATE my therapist! I'll just move to papa! He won't make me go to therapy! And you can't get me back anyway because you couldn't get Vincent or Zac back either. I will just tell her I am anorexic, so I have something to talk about! I will tall her I want to kill Penny so I will have something to talk about! I am not going to say ANYTHING! I will run away from school so I don't have to go!'
A few minutes later she hit Penny when Penny ran past her. 'Oh, I was just brushing my hair out of my face and Penny ran into my arm...' Um... I saw her hit very deliberately AND Penny cried from how hard she hit.
Today, she did go though. Although her input when I was still there was mostly 'hrm' and shoulder shrugging till I brought up the Penny incident. 'It was all Penny's fault, I was just standing there.'
No idea how much she talked when I was out of the room. She agreed with therapist to go next week. I hope it will help her to have someone to pat her on the back and help her find strategies to deal with her stupidhead mom.
Interesting 'Insight'
Remember how X let Zac and Bryan be alone all the time anyway, even while it was not safe 'because he didn't want Zac to feel broken'?
Today I suddenly realized that when he asked me to not leave Ysa with the little ones, he didn't worry at all about her feeling broken. Hmmmmmmm. I guess he identifies with Zac a LOT more than with Ysa, but still a bit weird how Zac has to be protected against 'feeling broken' but Ysa doesn't. (in his universe that is)
It saddens me both for Zac and Ysa.
Today I suddenly realized that when he asked me to not leave Ysa with the little ones, he didn't worry at all about her feeling broken. Hmmmmmmm. I guess he identifies with Zac a LOT more than with Ysa, but still a bit weird how Zac has to be protected against 'feeling broken' but Ysa doesn't. (in his universe that is)
It saddens me both for Zac and Ysa.
Zac Absence Today
Today I checked the school website 'Excused Absence' for Zac.
I called X to find out what's up.
Me 'How did Zac do today?'
X 'I don't know, I had a doctor's appointment so I don't know whether he made it to school.'
I see. So Zac is home, X didn't even know about that, and the school logged it as an excused absence. Maybe Zac called to tell the school he was sick? Who knows. Or he missed the school bus. I could call school and find out but it seems irrelevant and since I am not pushing for the CHINS or residential anymore, it doesn't really matter whether it says excused or unexcused absence.
It just feels soooooooo frustrating, seeing the level of care X is giving to Zac, and knowing that this is not in Zac's best interest at all. But X doesn't care and Zac is just happy to be able to stay home all day and play computer. Zac got onto gtalk around 1pm but the moment I said hi to him he disappeared. How surprising ^^
I called X to find out what's up.
Me 'How did Zac do today?'
X 'I don't know, I had a doctor's appointment so I don't know whether he made it to school.'
I see. So Zac is home, X didn't even know about that, and the school logged it as an excused absence. Maybe Zac called to tell the school he was sick? Who knows. Or he missed the school bus. I could call school and find out but it seems irrelevant and since I am not pushing for the CHINS or residential anymore, it doesn't really matter whether it says excused or unexcused absence.
It just feels soooooooo frustrating, seeing the level of care X is giving to Zac, and knowing that this is not in Zac's best interest at all. But X doesn't care and Zac is just happy to be able to stay home all day and play computer. Zac got onto gtalk around 1pm but the moment I said hi to him he disappeared. How surprising ^^
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Ha, Not Playing the Mom Card Anymore
We had very interesting school meeting with Dr Plato a few weeks ago. Dr Plato met with Zac before the meeting and figured out what he is interested in. Not surprisingly, for Zac everything is about money. Together dr Plato and Zac came up with a plan where he would make a business proposal (Zac is planning on selling tshirts) which he could present to the 'find financing for small businesses association' here in town to see whether he could get financing.
Of course, to create his business proposal, he would need to do some research in other businesses and talk to people and write up what he talked about and come to school to get help with the creation of this business proposal.
This is a big change from 'I want to go to college' and frankly I don't expect too much success right now, but it gives him a direction and a motivation for coming to school, and I can only hope it works out. Dr Plato talked about hopelessness and helplessness due to his depression and that this is a small flame of hope, although it could get extinguished quite soon again, but for now it's there.
The good news is that Zac kept blaming me in the meeting 'Well, I have not been coming to school because my mom abused me so much and I am so stressed out by her.' Uh huh. Dr Plato calmly stated 'How long will you let your anger to your mom stand in the way of making money?' and that since I am not fighting for custody anymore that there is no real reason to be stressed out about me anymore. Maybe he could let go of this particularly issue? Zac didn't agree. 'I WOULD, but I am still so traumatized!!!' Dr Plato asked 'How much time do you need to help you deal with the trauma? ' Zac 'Oh, till next Monday.' Dr Plato said 'OK, so from Monday on you won't use your mom as an excuse anymore.'
Ha! I thought that was a pretty clever way to get the mom card out of the way, even if I don't know yet whether it will work.
It is an interesting experience to be considered so powerful that all one's problems can be blamed to me.
Later my sis asked me 'Do you think Zac will ever realize what a powerful ally he lost when he moved to X's house?' I replied 'No, I don't think so, and I don't think it matters either. I doubt he will ever have the social recognition and self insight and bigger picture thinking to see what happened and read all the undercurrents and even the big story.' For Zac the big story will most likely always be 'My mom is a bitch but my dad saved me from her.'
Interesting side tidbit. The ex now pays him for going to school, $1 a day. He has been doing that for a bunch of weeks and there were many absences, so it doesn't seem to be super effective, but who knows.
Of course, to create his business proposal, he would need to do some research in other businesses and talk to people and write up what he talked about and come to school to get help with the creation of this business proposal.
This is a big change from 'I want to go to college' and frankly I don't expect too much success right now, but it gives him a direction and a motivation for coming to school, and I can only hope it works out. Dr Plato talked about hopelessness and helplessness due to his depression and that this is a small flame of hope, although it could get extinguished quite soon again, but for now it's there.
The good news is that Zac kept blaming me in the meeting 'Well, I have not been coming to school because my mom abused me so much and I am so stressed out by her.' Uh huh. Dr Plato calmly stated 'How long will you let your anger to your mom stand in the way of making money?' and that since I am not fighting for custody anymore that there is no real reason to be stressed out about me anymore. Maybe he could let go of this particularly issue? Zac didn't agree. 'I WOULD, but I am still so traumatized!!!' Dr Plato asked 'How much time do you need to help you deal with the trauma? ' Zac 'Oh, till next Monday.' Dr Plato said 'OK, so from Monday on you won't use your mom as an excuse anymore.'
Ha! I thought that was a pretty clever way to get the mom card out of the way, even if I don't know yet whether it will work.
It is an interesting experience to be considered so powerful that all one's problems can be blamed to me.
Later my sis asked me 'Do you think Zac will ever realize what a powerful ally he lost when he moved to X's house?' I replied 'No, I don't think so, and I don't think it matters either. I doubt he will ever have the social recognition and self insight and bigger picture thinking to see what happened and read all the undercurrents and even the big story.' For Zac the big story will most likely always be 'My mom is a bitch but my dad saved me from her.'
Interesting side tidbit. The ex now pays him for going to school, $1 a day. He has been doing that for a bunch of weeks and there were many absences, so it doesn't seem to be super effective, but who knows.
Um... (slightly amusing)
'Amusing' Things They Say.
Lots of noise and commotion.
Bryan crying 'She hurt me!!!'
Penny, indignantly 'I didn't even TOUCH him! I just shoved him out of the way!'
Shoving someone out of the way without touching him? Impressive... Especially since it looks like Bryan was climbing on the couch around the location where Penny was sitting and he ended up on the floor. No one got really hurt, but there was a lot of angry voices. They did calm down pretty easily though, and I have to admit that I was amused by the 'Didn't touch him, just shoved him!'
Still have lots to post, and no time, so I might just do a highlights post some time soon.
Lots of noise and commotion.
Bryan crying 'She hurt me!!!'
Penny, indignantly 'I didn't even TOUCH him! I just shoved him out of the way!'
Shoving someone out of the way without touching him? Impressive... Especially since it looks like Bryan was climbing on the couch around the location where Penny was sitting and he ended up on the floor. No one got really hurt, but there was a lot of angry voices. They did calm down pretty easily though, and I have to admit that I was amused by the 'Didn't touch him, just shoved him!'
Still have lots to post, and no time, so I might just do a highlights post some time soon.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Penny Phone Call (funny)
Today I first talked to my lawyer about all kind of ex crap and custody stuff, then I got the Zac phone call, and I ran a bunch of errands. When the phone ran AGAIN, and I saw yet another call from one of the schools. I was like 'Great, I wonder what it is now.'
Penny's teacher 'Penny's pants got muddy at the playground and since you guys are having a long day today (we have all kind of activities after school) she would love it if you could drop off a clean pair of pants.' She put on Penny and we chatted and I committed to bringing pants when I pick her up.
Nice to have a more down-to-earth, easy-to-solve issue after the Zac issue.
Penny's teacher 'Penny's pants got muddy at the playground and since you guys are having a long day today (we have all kind of activities after school) she would love it if you could drop off a clean pair of pants.' She put on Penny and we chatted and I committed to bringing pants when I pick her up.
Nice to have a more down-to-earth, easy-to-solve issue after the Zac issue.
Zac Phone Call
This morning, Zac's school psychologist called and told me 'Zac was having a hard time today. Vincent overslept his alarm and there was yelling (I assume his father yelling at Vincent?') and then when his father drove Vincent to school, Zac cried for twenty minutes. The psychologist asked him what he was thinking during that time and Zac answered 'I was thinking I could just call all my medication all at once and then call 911.'
Well, at least he was going to call 911 :p
On the other hand, this seems a bit more likely ideation than the 'jump out of a window or hang myself from the balcony'. The psychologist talked to him about calling the therapy center's emergency number when he feels like this and made sure he knows where the card with the number is.
He also talked about who he could contact at school on days that the psychologist isn't there for issues like this.
The good news is that he will see his therapist today.
Well, at least he was going to call 911 :p
On the other hand, this seems a bit more likely ideation than the 'jump out of a window or hang myself from the balcony'. The psychologist talked to him about calling the therapy center's emergency number when he feels like this and made sure he knows where the card with the number is.
He also talked about who he could contact at school on days that the psychologist isn't there for issues like this.
The good news is that he will see his therapist today.
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